Adoption? Here’s the Most Important Question to Ask | Guest Post by Kara Chupp

We had many questions when we started seriously considering adoption . . . and those questions shifted as we wandered down our adoptive journey and especially as we took a hop of faith toward our second adoption.
If you haven’t read Part 1 of this mini-series, you might want to check out our adoption story before reading on.
I remember the day the packet came in the mail. It was about an inch thick, and it was full to the brim with paperclipped documents and forms that we needed to sign, fill out, and return.
There was also a long list of the 479 hoops (OK, maybe I exaggerate a bit) that we would need to jump through before we could consider ourselves “ready” to be matched with a child.
Plus a weighty list of books (thick books) that we would need to read before we could fill out the paperwork, before we could start our homestudy, before we could begin our training classes, before we could do our FBI fingerprinting, before we could make our “family book,” before we could officially be—waiting.
You get the picture. And the more we dug in . . . the more questions we had.
Good questions like:
Did we choose the right agency?
Should we go with an international or domestic program?
What age range/gender will be the best fit for our family?
How will our friends and family respond?
Where will the financial resources come from to fund the adoption?
What known risks and health or medical concerns do we feel our family can handle?
Are we open to an open-adoption?
Who will this new little one be that God has planned for our family?
Do we have a good support network?
How can we develop relationships with other adoptive families?
Are we prepared to handle trans-racial realities?
Are we willing/able to adopt a sibling group?
How can we rearrange the house to incorporate our newest family member(s)?
What is our motivation for adopting?
How will this affect our other children?
Are we, as a couple, in total agreement about this?
Why did we give away all our baby stuff !?!
And probably a bazillion more—really good questions.
But over time, we narrowed it down to the most important question we should ask about adoption.
The Most-Important-Crucial-Non-Negotiable-Critical-Key-Adoption-Question–
Is God telling us to do this?
Really, that’s it.
It’s just that simple.
Though He commands us to care for the fatherless, He doesn’t direct every single family to adopt.
And as much as I might make a very logical list of all the pros and cons of adoption and timing and hardships and benefits and blessings and . . .
Again, it really just comes down to—
Is God telling us to do this?
To adopt?
Because we know that God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts, so much higher than our thoughts. ~Isaiah 55:9
And when we are weak, then He is strong. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:10
Because we know that God can cause all things to work together for good, according to His purpose, to conform us to the image of His Son. ~Romans 8:28 & 29
And sometimes, God’s plans don’t make sense from our vantage point. Sometimes they aren’t—logical.
But it’s because we can’t see around the corner yet, and He can.
I’m sure it made no sense to some onlookers when we started our second adoption process, just months after our fourth child died. But we rested in the assurance that it was from Him. And He stayed in control of the timing.
“There is unwavering peace today . . . when an uncertain tomorrow . . . is trusted to an unchanging God.”  ~ Ann Voskamp
Our first adoption took just months (literally . . . a couple of months). But our second adoption took a complete year because He was in charge of fitting together the puzzle pieces and He knew we needed that time to walk through some piercing days of grief. Still, the whole way through, we could rest in knowing–
God is telling us to do this.
I have a friend who is waiting on three children from Ethiopia. They are around the ages of thirteen, five, and two. Their current family includes children ages thirteen, ten, and six. In no scenario does that equation add up to a formula for ease. But their goal isn’t ease: It’s living in His will.
It’s living out what God is telling them to do.
So . . . if you’re considering adoption, let me just encourage you to make that your most important question. Is God telling us to do this?
And He’ll answer it in different ways. Sometimes the answers only come when you start shaking a few doorhandles
And you just might be like me and Gideon, pleading with Him for a fleece or two. ~Judges 6:36-40
But come to Him with a spirit of “If the Lord wills, we will…(adopt).” ~James 4:15
Because then, no matter where the adoption road leads your family, You can rest in and cling to:
God keeps him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on God,
because he trusts in God.
~Isaiah 26:3

Make sure you don’t miss the other posts from this series:
And Then He Told Me That I’m Adopted (our adoption stories)
Helpful Adoption Resources
Living Out-of-Control (and how adoption helped us Let. It. Go.)
Seven Reasons That We Love Adoption(and why I think of it every Day-Before-Thanksgiving


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Find out more about Kara, her family, and adoption at her website.



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Comments

  1. So wonderful to see you here, Kara! A perfect most important question. Blessings, friend!

  2. That about covers it for the questions, for us anyway. When you get into the thoughts and emotions surrounding the paperwork you’ve hit a whole other hornets’ nest. These are the real things anyone considering adoption needs to know. Thanks to you and Tricia for sharing.

  3. Loved this, Kara. I love how you honor God’s timing and leading. No, adoption is not for everyone, but an openness to God’s leading wherever and whatever is always the right stance to have. Happy New Year, Sarah.

  4. This is the best place to start with anything, I imagine, but especially when you are making decisions that will impact lives this way. It takes courage to hear Gods voice telling you something so big, I imagine. I’m grateful that you and your husband are such good listeners.

  5. As usual, so glad you talk about these things! Adoption is not something to be taken lightly

  6. Thank you for your guest post, Kara! I felt called to adoption long before my husband. I didn’t pester him, I just turned it over to God and prayed. If you’re out there and facing the same thing then PRAY!

  7. Thankful for all of you here with a heart for adoption and even more so…with a heart to pray and then listen to His whisper no matter what (in this area, but as Laura wrote…in every area of life).

    And Tricia…love your words of wisdom…just PRAY (especially in a scenario where you may sense God nudging towards adoption, but a spouse may not be on the same page).

    Thank you for allowing me to share my heart here…

  8. This is heart-stirring and full of great wisdom. Husband and I have always talked about adoption, and believe it is in our near future. I’ll tuck this post away.

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