Advice to My Younger {Married} Self — Part 2

What advice would you give to your younger married self? Tricia Goyer collects some GREAT marriage advice here!

John and I haven’t had a perfect marriage. Far from it! There have been struggles over the years, but I’m so happy that we decided to fight FOR our marriage instead of fighting against each other. I shared a few marriage tips I’ve learned along the way a few weeks ago here. I asked YOU to share what advice you’d give your younger married self. Here is the second part of your great answers:


  1. You know that perfect comeback you are forming in your mind? Keep it in your mind and not in your mouth! — Tracie
  1. You both make mistakes because you are both human… forgive, forgive, forgive, talk, talk, talk… tomorrow is another day, don’t hold grudges, give freely, listen (really listen), remember why you fell in love, no expectations only experiences, know that you can never change another human only they can and only God can change you, focus on the blessings of everyday life. — Traci
  1. Don’t share marital problems to relatives. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Focus on God and everything else will fall in line. Fix yourself and how you react, you can only change yourself. — Toni
  1. Make it work. — Tammy
  1. Always seek Jesus first. He is the Captain and the Rudder on the Marriage Ship! — Elaine
  1. Don’t imagine that you are going have this perfect life, with a perfect house and perfect children. Life is not a magazine, it is real living with real people and often things are a struggle. Expect difficulties and develop the spiritual and emotional muscles to deal with them – that way you wont be knocked over when hardship comes your way. — Trish
  1. Always look with in yourself first before judgment on your husband. We are not perfect either. — Renee
  1. Don’t try to fix him, only God can do that. Just try to be the wife that God wants you to be. — Jennie
  1. Keep valuing yourself as much as your husband and tend to your own needs because no one else will. — Christine
  1. Don’t stop dating, open honest communication, shared interests, serve each other (selflessness), have fun, don’t give up, have God at the Center of the relationship. — Marnie
  1. Do not try to put your husband in the place that only Christ can fill. ONLY Christ can be your emotional and spiritual joy. No human being is capable, and you set your husband up for a fall by expecting it. — Allison
  1. Submission does not mean “doormat”…. and it’s God’s plan to make your marriage work as it should, so go for it! — Betty
  1. Love is a decision. When it gets hard, you have to choose to have healthy conflict resolution. The process is hard, but the rewards are worth it. — Nichole
  1. Every moment is an investment into your future relationship. Choose wisely. — Janet
  1. Love your husband for who God created him to be, not for who you want him to be! — Lisa
  1. Every disagreement isn’t the end. Learn to let the little things that bug you go. — Tammy
  1. “In a marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.” W.D. Gough — Connie
  1. Marriage isn’t 50/50, marriage is 100/100 all the time. Because it takes all of your very being to deal day in and day out of living breathing and working side by side with this person you have chosen to love. — Gwyn
  1. Remember you are marrying a fellow sinner! Practice lots of grace. — Kathy
  1. Realize you both have expectations. Realize most of them are unrealistic and based on observing what you think to be real in others’ lives and on TV/in movies/in books. Drop the expectations and trust God to fill the gaps. Let Jesus be the Lover of your soul. Know that God will either grow your spouse and you in areas where you need to grow and change or He will be what you need for each other in the “lacking” areas instead. And that’s ok. Better than ok. It’s His perfect way. Now relax and enjoy each other the best you can. Faults and all. — Haelie
  1. Communicate when you’re needing to say something instead of keeping it all inside. It’s okay to say, “I’m sorry” first… It won’t kill you. Him leaving the cupboard doors open after he’s gotten something out isn’t something worth getting upset about. Just close them and move on. —Katie
  1. Place the things you want to blame him with and argue about at Jesus feet. Use the time you would have used to argue to just love him. In the meantime Jesus is working it out. — Tracey
  1. Never never never never let the sun set on your anger. Eph. 4:26 (paraphrased LOL) — Stephanie
  1. Wait and have some time as a couple before you are parents though I dearly love all 3 of mine. —Patricia
  1. Realize you may not always “like” each other but you always honor the promise before God to love each other. — Sheila

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