Do You Love Me? | Breaking the Cycle of Bad Relationships



Young Couple Walking in Alley - Creamy Vintage



I remember one specific meeting at our teen moms support group. I’d brought in three happily married couples to talk about marriage. I expected the young moms to ask questions about how to find the right person or how to deal with conflict, but that is not what they asked. Instead, the same question kept popping up over and over again, “Why in the world would you get married?”

The young women were happy for the couples—they really were—but they had no intention of getting married themselves. I was in shock. Then I began asking questions.

First of all, I asked how many of them had parents who were currently married. None of them. Not one of the young women raised her hand. Then I asked these young women how many of their parents had at one time been married to each other. Out of twenty-five young women, only two of them had parents who’d been married, but both were now divorced. I then asked how many of them had a good relationship with their father. Again, only two young women. Finally, I asked if any of them had ever seen a good marriage close up, one they’d like to model in their own lives. Out of twenty-five young moms, only one person raised her hand.

No wonder these young women had no hopes of marriage in the future. No wonder they were building relationships with the wrong types of guys. They had no idea what a happy marriage looks like. They had no idea what to hold out for.

Maybe you’re the same. You like the idea of marriage and of a happy relationship, but you haven’t had a good example in your life. You think pursuing such a thing is a waste of time, so you settle for far, far less. I’m here to tell you that it is possible. Once I started looking for—and praying for—the right type of guy, I found him. (As I mentioned before, I also changed my life to become the type of person the right type of guy would want.)

You have to start by being willing to wait for the right person, being willing to change, and being willing to open your heart when the time comes. It’s time to break the cycle of bad relationships.

Excerpted with permission from Teen Mom by Tricia Goyer, copyright Zondervan, 2015.

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Other Blog Posts I’ve Written About Teen Moms

The ABCs of Helping a Young Mom

5 Ways to Help a Teen Mom

Teen Mom, You Are Not Alone

Gaining Wisdom by Working with Teen Moms

A Letter to Teen Moms | You Are Important

Broken Things Made Beautiful

Word Identity | Your Words Change Everything!

Share “Teen Mom” with Someone Today!

5 Practical Ways to Run a Teen MOPS Group

Somebody Needs to Hear

17 Ways to Reach out to Single Moms

Why Does Mentoring Matter? A Lesson From Mary

Just Be Available to God

God Is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

An Unexpected Life

How to Start a Teen MOPS Group

How to Help Teen Moms

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Comments

  1. Hi!

    I work at a casting agency in LA and we’re currently recruiting couples for a show about getting married young!! This is a subject that is often cast in a very bad light and we’re looking to show the more positive side of things!!

    I saw that teen future wives often comment on your pages and was wondering if you knew of any good couples that might be interested! If not, maybe you could help us spread the word??

    Let me know and I can forward you our flyer!

    Thanks for listening 🙂

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