Generations May Influence Us, But God’s Influence is Greater

Generations May Influence Us, But God's Influence is Greater -

Generations May Influence Us, But God’s Influence is Greater

My teen years are a product of the 80’s.

Madonna sang Like a Virgin and no one I knew felt virginity was something to protect. While growing up, I sometimes felt closer to television families, like the Cosby’s, than my own. I escaped into books and always tried to gain the approval of my friends. In high school, I got together with guys and then broke up again, each time guarding myself a little more. At times I wondered if my heart would survive.

Go figure that when I first got married I had intimacy struggles. Maybe you can relate. As a generation we learned to exist on the surface, but not go too deep.

How did the generation you were raised in impact you? Maybe it’s more than you think.

While some factors are more significant than others, perhaps the most significant element in value development is age. Many psychologists and sociologists would agree that the most influential period of our value-development process is around age 10. What happened to you and what was going on in society when you were 10 years old has shaped your values probably more than you realize. . . . What we experienced in our families, at school, with our friends, through the media, and in every aspect of our lives at age 10 had a greater influence on us than those same factors had at any other time in our lives.

– Dr. Rick and Kathy Hicks in ‘Boomers, X-ers, and Other Strangers: Understanding the Generational Differences That Divide Us’


This makes a lot of sense to me. At age 10, my parents struggled in their marriage and some of my friend’s parents were already divorced. Financial strain in our family was overwhelming. Communication between me and my family focused on simple conversation like school or chores. I attended church but I didn’t really know God. I was an obedient kid who went through the motions of life.

The good news is that God healed all those broken parts of my heart. It’s taken time, but I’ve learned to open myself up to my husband. I’ve learned to connect. I’ve learned to trust. I’ve learned to be intimate.

How we were raised—and the era we grew up in—does influence us, but God’s influence is even greater.


They closer I grew to God, the more I opened my heart up to Him. And the more I opened my heart up to Him, the more I was able to open it to others too.

Do you have a hard time connecting with your spouse?

Ask God to come to you. Ask God to awaken your heart. Pray for true intimacy. Pray for the winds of change to come.

Awake, north wind!
Rise up, south wind!
Blow on my garden
and spread its fragrance all around.
Come into your garden, my love;
taste its finest fruits. Song of Songs 4:16 NLT

Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you… and He will also heal you so  you can draw near to others. Intimacy can come.

If you benefitted from this post, you might like these books of mine:


Let’s play a game!The Kissing Bridge by Tricia Goyer

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  1. Tricia, I graduated from high school in 1982. I was deeply affected by my sisters and brothers who were 10 to 15 years older than me. My 2 brothers were involved in drugs, including heroin, acid, and distribution of narcotics. Plus, multiple marriages and relationships, job changes, unrest in their lives, all affected me. I know my parents worried about its affect.
    By age 10 many of these things had already occurred. My brothers had been taught better, all of us went to church, knew the Lord, but my brother’s chose a different road.
    I think about my granddaughter that is 10 years old. How things she has witnessed from family, in the way they live out their lives and how this will affect her. She and I talk often, really talk, about the hard issues of life, we are very close.
    In looking back in my childhood, mom and dad did the best they could under the situation with my brothers, neither really knowing what to do. But, we did not talk about it, really discussing what was going on. Instead, it was as if the elephant in the room so to speak was never discussed. Communication is important, seizing those teachable moments, and listening, really listening to the child.

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