Check out this quote by Francis Frangipane:
There are so many things to occupy our minds: so many books, so many examples, so many good teachings that deserve our attention, that say, “here is a truth.” But, as I have been serving the Lord these past years, He has led me to seek for two things and two things only: to know the heart of God in Christ and to know my own heart in Christ’s light. Francis Frangipane, Holiness, Truth, and the Presence of God, p. 22
Wow. What do you think of that?
I can’t tell you how “true” this statement has been for me in the past few months. For so long I felt I was on the right path toward seeking God. I read His Word, praised Him, served Him, and urged others to do the same.
Then I prayed Psalm 139:23-24:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
It was that “Point out …” part that really hit me. Wham, like a semi-truck crossing the center divider, God made me painfully aware of feelings, emotions, and longings I thought I’d buried in 1989. Sometimes the weight of them would be so overwhelming that I literally laid with my face on the carpet and cried before God, begging Him to sew up the places where my heart has been ripped apart.
God has shown me that knowing our own hearts is not easy, especially when we examine them in the light of Christ. Yet, it is only when we pray laments of discovery that truth can be known.
I used to think I knew myself. And, between you and me, it was easy to become prideful in my dedication to God. Then God gave me a glimpse of the areas of my life He still wished to work on. He pointed out my ever-present need for love and appreciation that never seems to be quenched. He showed me the places in my heart still held by others.
And I’d like to say that it was a learning opportunity that I’ve aced. I wish I had “task complete” stamped across the top of my assignment, but that’s not the case . . . and I don’t think it ever will be, because God has shown me that no man or woman can truly understand the depths of his or her heart. It’s the greatest unexplored territory that exsists. Yet it is also one God is faithful to unveil for us, one heartbeat at a time, if we trust Him and truly desire His truth to reign in every part of our being. Which I do.