My kids were ages 10, 7 and 5. Although I was their mom, I thought they’d hate me when they knew the truth. After all, just how do you tell your kids that they’d have another brother or sister if it weren’t for their mom’s bad decision?
John and I prayed about how to tell our children. We knew that although they’d heard the word abortion before, they most likely didn’t understand what it was. Since they were still young, they didn’t need to know details. We also wanted them to know why many women terminate their pregnancy — because of fear, worry or pressure from other people.
A few days later, my husband and I explained to our kids that abortion meant a woman did not want to be pregnant and had an operation to end the life of her baby. I could tell from my kids’ faces that they were horrified. John shared why a woman might do this, and they expressed sadness for those women. Then, with tears in my eyes, I told them my story.
When sin is allowed to grow
With a shaky voice, I explained that when I was in high school, I had become pregnant. I said that when I visited a clinic, the workers told me it really wasn’t a baby yet and that everything would be better if I had the procedure. My kids listened as I told them that I had always wanted to be a mom, but I was afraid of having a baby as a 15-year-old. I was worried about what people would think.
I told my kids that I wanted to believe that what the clinic worker said was true because it seemed like an easy way out. So I ignored the nagging voice in my head that told me I was ending a life. After the abortion, I was heartbroken and numb. It took many years for the emotional pain to go away.
John and I also explained that I had not been following Jesus, and I had wanted things my own way. I read James 1:14-15 to my children: “But your own evil longings tempt you. They lead you on and drag you away. When they are allowed to grow, they give birth to sin. When sin has grown up, it gives birth to death” (NIrV). In this case, my sin led to the death of their brother or sister. My kids listened, and I could see sadness on their faces.
Months after my abortion, I saw a woman…
Read How do you tell your kids about a painful decision from your past? at The Focus On The Family Website here: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/facing-the-truth/
If you or someone you know needs to speak with a counselor, Focus On The Family offers a free hour of counseling with one of Focus on the Family’s licensed and TBRI-trained counselors at this link! https://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/promos/counseling-services-and-referrals. For ongoing counseling, they also offer a local counselor referral service to vetted Christian counselors.